Tell them to use their threat dumps or get pallies to sanc dps that are creeping up the threat meter into your comfort zone. Your TankSpot character link doesnt appear to be working so I can't really offer much more, but as deathdaddy said, if you can give an idea of raid make up and situation where you have noticed threat to be a problem it could shed some light on it for us.
Hit capped? (8% - 263 rating, unless draeni, then it's 7% - 230 rating)
Expertise capped? (26 Skill)
What are you using to dump? The OB heavy rotation implies Frost, which has the option of using Howling Blast in leiu of an OB, and with Killing Machine Procs. If you're doing an Unholy tank build with OB, then changing glyphs to improve Unholy Blight would be ideal, as buffing that damage would be solid.
Note that while it sounds silly, doing a DnD at the start of a pull is worthwhile to help build threat, but it takes the full duration of DnD. Also, I would add RS macro'ing to at least Bloodstrike, if not all your buttons, as it is that much of a threat increase. If you have no RP, ease up on rune dumps, or remove a single RS macro to reach a better medium. If you are Frost, I wager you're putting all your RP into Frost Strikes instead of keeping some RP available for the considerably higher threat Rune Strike.
I agree with Esch, more Runestrike macros will help, I put them on OB and FS. Using Frost Strike is inferior to Runestrike, except you got a Killing Machine procc, so RS is really important.
If your mates are getting to close, tell them rogues should to ToT on you not on themselves and that your hunters MD you whenever it's ready. Rotation looks good so no problems there.
and the one who gets the closest, and on the verge of passing me seems to be our mage and a warlock when he can come. i dont wanna tell them to back off to much because i dont want them to have to drop their dps. we rarely have our rogue come and our hunter hasnt been able to come as of late. we do have a pally OT who i know can keep ahead of them in threat but i know i can keep ahead of them cause it used to be cake to. I have Runestrike macroed into OB, but i could macro it into all of my attacks and see if that helps more, im trying to use it everytime its up though.
and a major question ive been wondering is do i really need to be hit and expertise capped?? and if so should i drop some of my stam gems to do so? i am a dranei so i do have the 1% racial, but does my hit need to be at 8% or 9%? ive been told that the cap is 8%, so i would only need 7% correct?
In your armory link you are really close to the hit cap for melee Attacks (8%). You will never ever achiev to get the Spellhitcap so don't get Hit gems for that. 26 expertise is the first cap for that aswell, and getting to the Hardcap (around 50 something) is wasted as well.
Your stats look great so I can't really see how the guys get to you TPS wise. On which encounters does this happen? On Hodir and Vezax is normal, but on all other encounters you should be doing fine.
You can get some Snapper Extreme to get even more hit, so It and other spells will hit more.
Thanks for the help guys. I managed to get myself hit and expertise capped and it has helped a lot. I realize my hit is only at about 7% or so but I am a draenei and the 1% racial gets me to where I need to be. I have also macroed RS in with all my attack so it is being used everytime it can.