My solution to the OP is A) Don't group with 3 ret pallies because they were probably holy pre-3.0 and really really suck at it.
Point B- Let me put it in perspective. When the 3.0 PTR came out I was giddy as hell to test my new abilities, so after working out solo on mobs for a bit I pugged my first heroic- Underbog. Running modless of course, I started marking the trash. The DPS just went nuts on it without a care in the world. After the second pull I kindly say "please kill the skull first, then the X...". When the healer spoke up, "I think we need a new tank." Meaning I wasn't up to par. I was shocked at first but then I realized the little shit was right and I needed to step up my game. So I stopped marking, pulled 2-4 groups of mobs at a time, and proceeded to clear every heroic in the game in about 2.5 hours with pugs and badly geared ret paladins.
What I'm getting at is it could be the players who are pulling ahead of you are used to tanks that are comfortable with moving fast through these 5 mans and are getting impatient--which is still their fault I'm just trying to provide insight. My suggestion is be a little more reckless, your healers got buffed in 3.0 too. I'm mostly AOEing the 5 mans at this point it's kind of a joke. I ran Drak'Tharon (spelling?) one time, underleveled and drunk (I hardly remember the entire thing). But I'm told we cleared it in 25 minutes and had 0 deaths and everyone had a good time. Now I don't like to make a habit of doing that stuff under the influence of alcohol but once in a while I don't mind, especially in 5 mans.
In closing, pull faster, kick noobs, and let your skill speak for itself because if you got it, you know it.
"There are no men like me...only me."