I'm a warrior OT in a medium sized guild that is 4/5 SSC, 3/4 TK, 3/5 MH.
Our guild-lead/raid-lead is the warrior MT and we get along really well. We run 2prot wars, 1 pally tank, 1 feral. The MT never has to tell me when to swap gear and devastate-DPS or pop out for extra healers/DPS. We keep those awkward moments of "we don't need you" or "swap gear" to a minimum. I feel one of the key features of any good off-tank is knowing your place and trying to think of how best to contribute to the raid instead of maximizing your time in the tanking spotlight. Between me and him we've made tanking a team effort and communicate really well.
We've recently switched prot pallys since our last guy that we used in SSC just wasn't cutting it in MH. Our new pally OT was holy and went prot cause he saw how much better he could do than our last tank. Its worked well for us and he is a great player who theorycrafts alot and knows the in's and outs of pally tanking.
But recently there's been alot of internal friction between the warriors and our other tanking classes. Armed with his knowledge from theorycraft sites our pally is increasingly persistent in his demand to MT bosses. I'm open to the idea, except his threat generation is not where it should be. The pally keeps pointing at reliable theorycraft showing pally superior snap aggro but during trash I get lots of complaints about his threat from the DPS and we've had to move him off the first kill target. I can easily outburst threat him initially and keep the TPS going; all with my mitigation set on. We really value him as a member of the tanking team though and probably wouldn't be this far into MH without his help. But I've talked with him extensively and I get the impression that he will never be satisfied in an OT role. Its feels like pulling teeth when we need him to go off-heal (>2k +heal set from his holy days) because no one wants to ask (more like confront) him to swap gear when he's made it pretty clear to us he wants to MT. So we just sigh and watch him throw down his consecrates until he runs out of mana. At least the raid benefits from his judgment of wisdom I guess.
The pally keeps showing me posts about pally MTs in MH/BT/SW etc etc. but those are
other pally tanks in
other guilds and we can't get him to understand that
he needs to build up the trust with
our raid and up his threat ability so our DPS doesn't go "WTF!?". It doesn't help that our last pally tank was "the-bad" and our guild have alot of oldschool raiders who had their pre-conceptions of "pallys can't MT" reinforced by said bad pally. This includes the MT who has made it clear he doesn't care for anyone else to boss-tank as hes earned this privilege through his commitment with the guild throughout the years and made the sacrifices needed to keep the position. I've basically been give the task of mediating with the pally (as a third party to avoid drama) and get him to understand that there is only 1 MT in most guilds and that its a reserved position not easily obtained, and that he is a great tank on the hyjal trash (where he is the "MT" lol) but we don't need him to tank on boss fights where the druid has much better OT-threat.
I guess my question this. I've been blessed with a personality that allows me to remain content as a tank behind the shadow of our MT and enjoys the life of OT quite well (you never get the blame!

). Is there any way I can convince our pally tank to see things our way and remain with us? Our druid went through this OMG-I-WANT-MT phase after switching from resto and we were able to get him to calm down. The druid wasn't big on theorycraft though and the pally is 110% convinced by sites like maintankadin.com that he will be a better MT numbers-wise but has become blind to the other complex conditions required to hold such a raid position. I thought this would be the best place to ask since this is a tanking community site and some of you probably have experienced a similar situation (firsthand sometimes). I am great friends with both players and would really like to see this resolved without a gquit. Unfortunately it will likely come to that if nothing is done.