[Ciderhelm]

Part of me right now wants to yell. Just yell.

The more time I spend working on this website, the more time I develop bitterness towards other "fansites" I visit.

Why? Because I read them, and I'm thinking, "wow, this took you a half hour to put together and looks like it came out of the game manual."

It actually makes me furious that some of these sites -- be they Warcraft or Tabula Rasa -- get more visitors than my site when they are feeding total crap to their visitors and giving it to them with 3+ paid advertisements from gold ads or other MMOs.

When I read Nihilum's Guide to the Warrior I was beside myself when I realized they were getting substantial money from 45 minutes worth of writing.

But it didn't start there. It started with WarcraftMovies, a site I helped grow with a series of movies back in 2005. The more I see that site the more I think, "wow, they are total tools," because every time I'm there I see gold ads everywhere. Do people not realize they are just a redesigned web forum? They actually slap advertising onto movies that take zero bandwidth from their servers (embedded Stage6, etc).

Tabula Rasa has really put the nail in the coffin for any hope of avoiding web-rage. Every site I've seen so far is just filled with information that is virtually copy-pasted from the game manual or is so absurdly obvious that it doesn't deserve to be posted. No one in the worldwide TR community has anything outstanding except for our handful of WoW posters on our own forums. Isn't it sad that the first fan-made movies -- three of them -- are sitting on our forum which gets 5 visitors an hour and hasn't even launched?


And here's why it all makes me so angry -- I don't have time to do better. My time is no longer focused on the broad development but on the trivial things like fixing templates and posting WoW or TR news. Part of me wants to say, "I'm better than these guys, I can do this alone," but I can no longer keep pushing the grand projects with how many small ones there are and how few hours there are in a day.

Which sucks, because beyond the forums, it really is only me developing right now, and each of my recent projects has been 6-8 hours long. This is further interrupted by raiding which -- like it or not -- is having a hugely negative impact on my schedule, even at only 3-4 nights a week.

I am stressed out.

I am burned out.

I told Veneretio in a private message, 'There's a point where a person is in so deep that they can't see the way out, and that's where I am. The consolation is that I know if I keep working, I will eventually get past it.'

It's true. I know I'll get past it. My plan is to get past it and create a job for myself out of all of this in the coming months and years -- something where I can be compensated for my work, and hopefully compensate others for theirs.

Because I'm sick of garbage, I really am sick of it. I know I can do a better job. I know everyone here is working to do a better job. And it sucks to see people who put no effort into their projects, or people who sell out to gold sellers and power-levelers, be more likely to stick around.

There are many things I want to do that I can't do alone and I can't do now. Creating a special movies page like WarcraftMovies is not a difficult thing to do for a smart programmer who understands vBulletin -- but it's beyond my own programming skill, and any time I invest into this project is time directly taken out of more important projects.

Yet, there are things I can do, and am doing. And they stress me out, but I do them because I believe they are worth doing.

I want the World of Warcraft website to succeed, and will continue working towards that. I want the World of Warcraft website to be accepted for Fansite status by Blizzard.

I want the Tabula Rasa website to succeed, and will continue working towards that. TabulaSpot has already been accepted for Fansite status by NCSoft.

I want the community of the World of Warcraft and Tabula Rasa sites to support the growth and viral marketing of the Eventide RPG project and a community based around that.

I want the site as a whole to be attractive to legitimate business and corporate sponsorship by 2009. I want to be able to afford things for our site like other gaming sites have, such as representatives to worldwide gaming conventions.

Because I believe we're better, and I believe we deserve that.




This is posted to the new blog system and I would appreciate if you responded there (feel free to respond here as well).

[jOEh312]

Cider,

it's obvious that you are stressed. At one point I was at this state too. I was raiding, at what I thought was a marginal amount compared to some, about 4 nights a week. I was class leader for the druids during my "hardcore times". I helped make plenty of decisions and put up with all the crap that was, previously oblivious to myself, concealed solely in officer chat. I understand what you're goin through, and you will get past it. It took me qutiting for several months and setting priorities straight.

I know you probably aren't told this alot, but I for one appreciate to a degree I cannot express, the effort that you've put into this website. I have learned more than my fair share of things from not only you but the others on this site.

I understand the things you are goin through, and the stress that goes into this type of thing and from someone who has been there you will get through it.

Perhaps I caught this post right after it was made and thats why I have one of the first responses, but I know that I am not speaking alone in giving thanks for everything you've done.

I would be more than happy to talk to you or even just be someone you could vent too. If you ever need anything, or there is any way I can help relieve some of your stress or promote the site please let me know.

~Joey

[Ciderhelm]

Thanks.

Your first example is exactly what this reminds me of, and perhaps why I'm stressed so much. When I was guild leading Eventide I spent 40-50 hours a week handling everything and -- though we were very successful -- it just destroyed my ability to enjoy the game after we were done with Kel'Thuzad.

As an administrator I'm finding more and more that I'm less and less involved with the community we've built with TankSpot. That's partly the result of the growth rate of TankSpot -- at this point, I can't read everything anymore and don't recognize everyone anymore.

[Norrath]

Personally I'm not good at pouring effort into projects. Even if I start one up, they usually end up discarded eventually.

So when I see someone who does it, time and time again, all I can do is admire that person. I truly appreciate the effort you put into this website.

I can't offer much, but... if there is anything you think I can do to help, let me know.

[Gehn]

I understand your frustrations, Ciderhelm.

But know that this site has provided information (and an open community of regulars) that was previously unknown to me and my small crazy guild. We do appreciate the work that you, Vene, and the others have poured into this site.

And I am sure that there are others like me who wake up in the morning and check 4 websites religiously...This being the second on the list.

Thank you!

[Sharlos]

Source: Gehn I understand your frustrations, Ciderhelm. But know that this site has provided information (and an open community of regulars) that was previously unknown to me and my small crazy guild. We do appreciate the work that you, Vene, and the others have poured into this site. And I am sure that there are others like me who wake up in the morning and check 4 websites religiously...This being the second on the list. Thank you!

lol, you too?

[mishmash]

This website has definitly renewed my faith in the online gaming community, It stands apart from all the trolling and elitist websites/forums that bring gaming a bad name. I hope you know your efforts are appreciated.

[Lilred]

cider i come here every morning and evening when i get home. This place is a wealth of knowledge and i cant believe it si not an accepted site as of yet for WoW. This place is a wealth of knowledge for beginners and thoe mose experienced in the game. I totally agree with you about the ammount of trash sites out there. This is the only place i have seen that has any TR info worht a crap on it.

We appectiate what you do more than we can tell you least i do. This is an amazing place for us that play these games. Thansk for the hard work that you put into it man.

[Ukyo]

Every one gets to a point when you ask yourself "what's the point?", when you don't know what drives you anymore to do what you really like. And at that point, is good to have people backing you up, appreciating what you do and letting you know that. I can't really add anything that it isn't posted anymore, we all appreciate what you do here, i've learned a lot from here, and all i can really say is...

Thank you for everything. ^^

[Joanadark]

I just have one thing to add:

We ARE making an impact.

and it's growing.