The Delicacy of MMO Friendship

I hear you, Vene. Would love to read your post if you care to link it.

This is something I have found people playing this game very split over and it can go one of two ways or fall somewhere in between.

People can view it as thier sandbox in which the other people are only semi real, quite possibly real people in theory but people you will probably never meet or talk to beyond vent or chat. You can do what you like and if you piss someone off, hell, its just a game.

Then there's the other extreme and this is more like me. Without the benefit of being able to see facial expressions and mannerisms or the ability to carry deeper conversations beyond the superficial, people tend to infer. Sometimes they let thier imaginations fill in the blanks and can get carries away. "I rolled need on that item Bob wanted too and I won...I wonder if he's pissed? I bet he is. I imagine he thinks I'm a loot whore."

In a round about way, something Cider said in his Guild Relations podcast applies here. Decisions made don't cause people to go hungry or lose jobs. This is true and sometimes we lose sight of that but also that they are real people playing the game same as you.

Beating yourself up about it won't help. My suggestion would be to get the guy in vent and tell them something like "I was being a dick, I meant it as a joke, just giving you a hard time but it didn't come across like that. I'm sorry."

I've had to do that before and it generally turned out ok.

hah. Welcome to the club venny... ridiculousness FTL.

I go GRRRR inside when I hear someone saying they are missing a raid to go see a movie or go out with a friend. Random things you could do any other day of the week are not good enough excuses in my opinion. Some examples of excuses that I do think are valid are: studying, exams, being sick, looking after someone (creature or human) that is sick), etc. Maybe I am a bit more hardcore than most people though :-/

I have to say, that for diplomacy it sounds as if the right call was made. Of course, what is diplomatically correct is not always what should be. In my opinion, an engagement online (which requires the presence of & dependability of others) is little to no different than in real life. As stated, we are real people & ditching something that has been planned for something as impulsive as a movie showing is immature. Sure, it is just a game, but just as much the movie is just a movie -- get it on pay-per-view.

I prefer to approach scheduled raids as I would any other sport. Would you skip softball, soccer, or flag football to go watch a movie? Some might, but if you were interested in staying with the team, probably not.