Thug's tanking guide: The Mandarin

OK so this is my latest tanking guide, this time to an IRL raid known as the Mandarin, at least in the Toronto server. I think on other servers it goes by the names Old Country Buffet or The Sizzler, and strats here may apply to Bob Evans, Machine Shed or Cracker Barrel with some retuning. It all boils down to "don't pick up the carbs".

OK so zoning in can be important. First; if there are lots of people around at the summoning stone this is a good sign; unlike many other raids this one is best when there is a queue. Trying to attack this raid when you are the only group there is a bad idea - there is an aoe damage caused by the meals being too far in to their cooldown, that combined with a stacking debuff called "yesterday's grease" will eventually wipe the raid.

So you don't want to summon too near the garbage bins. The sight of what comes out of the raid when you are done may reduce your stamina by 200, which just won't leave you with enough effective health to finish the raid. If you have to go back to the summoning point, to grab your cell phone or some change or your wallet, this will double every time you pass the garbage bins so beware.

OK so you've zoned in. Walk directly to the group of mobs standing by the little podium with the microphone. Talk to one of the girls there and she'll ask you if you want normal (2 man) or heroic (4 or more man) version. I suggest the 2 man or four, finding enough seats for a 6 party raid in one of these places can take a while; increasing your risk of the food cooldown aoe damage.

When you make it to your table, the waitress will ask what you want to drink. Now - this may seem simple, but believe me this has wiped many a raid later in to the dungeon. Do not order pop. Order green tea, or just stick to your water. Pop slowly causes you to loose effective stomach as the night progresses - and not only that, but the goal is to eat as much high dollar value meat as possible to increase your ratio of money spent -> value of food eaten - and that pop is 2.75 or something like that. You'd have to eat three plates of crab legs or three slices of prime rib to make up that value.

OK general notes; at some point one of the cloth wearers will ask you to watch their bag - this is OK, you have to keep the party together and ensure the safety of everyone on the run. Also if the cloth wearers are like my wife^h^h^h^h raid healer she might try to take food off your plate - in this raid I think it's acceptable as it only causes you to walk more which actually increases your effective stomach.

The first pull on my server is the curried chicken / kung pao chicken combo. Remember to pick up as little rice as possible - too many carbs! Or even skip these two all together - if you make a wide circle over by the ice cream freezer it is possible to not do this pull at all. Top it off with some pork ribs if you want.

Now we're moving fast - to the vegetable round. You want to do as little of this as possible, just for nutritional value really. Now don't get the fried rice with peas, stick to the garlic broccoli or garlic green beans. No more than two broccoli or four beans. Some people would tell you to skip this round, but my guild does it. Who knows, really, I think the veg round helps you keep coming back.

Once your done with the curried chicken/kung pao chicken (cc/kpc) and the veg round head on over to the all you can eat seafood. Remember to take as much of the crab legs, lobster tails, high count (large) shrimp as you can and avoid the baked salmon. While the salmon technically higher value than the cc/kpc, while you're working on the seafood table you really want to focus on shellfish as these are where you are going to make up the largest portion of your food value intake/gold spend ratio. Now you're going to notice as you pick these up that Mandarin hasn't made it too easy - they didn't peel or deshell anything! You're going to have to develop good shelling and peeling skills; you might not make it all the way through on your first raid as the blistering shellfish sores will form on your fingers if you aren't careful in your selection and with your rotations. Shrimp luckily do not cause the finger blister sores, so you might want to stick to these if you are a newbie but trust me, you can't make it all the way through on shrimp alone; the higher gold/food value ratio in the crab is stock in trade here.

Get a good rhythm going shelling the crab, and see if you can do three whole pulls. I know this sounds like a lot, but remember the shells are deceptive - three pulls might only make up 60% if the gold value you put in at the start. It's better if you can do four or even five pulls at the seafood table.

Now the end boss: the prime rib table.

First of all - it's always going to seem like you want to ask for two slices. This is not the best way. See the first slice is good - trim, good cut, cooked how you like it. But if you ask the cutter for a second slice they know your trick - and they will call you every time. They're not going to hand you another tender tasty slice of beef! The second helping on your first pull here will be 90% fat. Your effective stomach is going to plummet here, and your gold/food value ratio will be totally sunk. You'll never make it.

What you have to do is take one piece only, and go back for repeated pulls, much like the seafood round. Now while you do this, the mashed potatoes are going to come at you like a freakin hurricane of tasty high carb goodness. Dodge that (high avoidance is key for this round) , dodge the sausage , dodge even the grilled chicken. You want to focus completely on the prime rib.

"But thug, you say take one piece and ignore everything else, my plate will be 80% empty!!"

Don't be tempted noob. You can't handle more than one pull at a time, I don't care what your healers tell you. Stick to the plan! One prime rib per attempt maximum. Repeat this as necessary, but I'd say to go back to the prime rib table only twice or three times. There is just too much chance you're going to pick up something really low value like corn or pork dumplings, or even the dreaded awful buffet pizza or even worse buffet sushi. I mean, there isn't even any fish in the sushi! And the pizza looks like your three year old made it. Stick to the value here and you will soon be your guild's MT.

Now, for the last round - the desert table. This is almost literally a cakewalk. Remember - if your favorite desert comes in little 1inch by .5 inch squares, just get four or five of them. You're out of the woods now, and you can just take what you want. If your favorite is not out there, just wait - fortune shines on the patient raider. Now this is the only point in the night where it's OK to pick up rice - the rice pudding is awesome. Avoid the low sugar tables, avoid the ice cream (too much work, you're going to be tired after the seafood shelling), but really at this point you can just take whatever you like.

That's it! Hopefully if you stuck to the "just tea and water" routine at the ordering point, you remembered the "no drinks" rule - because your waitress is going to throw you one last curveball at the end - offering you coffee while you have your desert. Stay vigilant! This coffee is going to bump up the bill at the end, throwing off your gold/food value ratio once and for all.

As a final reward, the waitress will bring the wet lemon smelling microwaved facecloth to wash the garlic and rib sauce off your fingers. If you have any thing left in you, walk back to the summoning stone and hearth out victorious!