It's the end ...

"of the world as we know it and I feel fine"

Well, it's not the end of the world but then again I don't feel fine either - in fact I feel so upset, that just typing these words is enough to bring tears to my eyes.

Some of you may know that the guild of which I am an officer has been going through a rough summer: a combination of losing two raid leaders to RL problems; an inactive GM; summer lull; a low high-raiding server has all contributed to it, but on Saturday when 2 officers mentioned they were looking at transferring off server, I guess I reached the end of my tether and as none of them wanted to do it, I posted in officers saying that we couldn't continue in our current state, and to be fair to guildies maybe the time had come to end it. Drastic, maybe... We started as life just after TBC, with no real definitive goal (as regards to raiding or not), grew through kara, took the difficult steps in 25mans and hit our peak a couple of months ago with our last progress kill (Supremus). Since then we've had to replace a fair number of raiders (due to RL, summer etc) and haven't repeated much past Rage due to gear, commitment problems etc etc.

I would have loved to have seen the end of BT and MH; but the thought of another round of recruitment, of gearing up was enough to get me seriously depressed. Added to that the feelings of not even wanting to log on some nights, because of the flood of upset, petty or drama-filled whispers I would get meant that I felt that this is the end of an incredible journey, prolonging it further would have just ripped the loonies apart. I signed "Legacy of the Lunatics" guild's charter over 18months ago and many of the officers I have known for almost 2 years, and this is heartbreaking.

To those officers:

I can't remember the day I met Bumbles pre-TBC but I am pleased to say that I can barely remember not having you in /p or /g ever since then. A cheering gnome or "o/" has always been enough to make me smile and I loved watching you take your first baby bear steps in tanking. 25 man raid tanking side by side with you is always an incredible experience, you've always given me the support I've needed in raids and helped me tone down my raid attendance due to work commitments - I always knew the tank team was in very capable paws. In officers you are not always the most vocal, but whatever you do say is usually right to the point, your observations and sense of humour are incredibly penetrating. You're my oldest WoW friend, one of the few people who realised I was a girl before I spoke on vent and an incredible friend.

Kenty - From a little uber warlock you have become our guiding light, always encouraging us to be a little better, to reach a little higher. So little seems to get you down and your level headedness during guild and officer drama has often turned potential nuclear explosions into mere firework displays. Your tireless work in recruitment and guild webpages are so rarely mentioned and yet constantly appreciated. As a warlock you are Terra's hero and helping you find your tank feet on your warrior has been an incredibly rewarding experience, as you are someone who listens so eagerly and questions so astutely.

I'll always remember when my suspicions about Scotty's warrior past were confirmed - I was so excited to have someone of your experience in our little band of heroes. Scotty, your willingness to go the extra mile both then and now are a testament to the kind of guy you are. Your knowledge and personal experiences at the WoW classes and abilities is mindnumbing at times, and even before you joined the officer team I remember your kindness and patience with a little tank who lacked experience. All of the best for the future I truly hope the your RL finds a even-keel.

Pre-TBC two people put my little gnome feet on what turned out to be the road to where Shorty stands today, one an ex-GM explained to me what "defense" on gear meant and the other, Erik, showed me where I wanted to be - leading from the front, in ZG. As a hunter, you are the exception that proves the generalisation about terrible hunters, and as a tank a reliable and proactive hunter is invaluable to me. In officers you can always be relied upon to speak your mind, and the refreshing, but weird throw-away comments of yours have often diffused a situation before it has even started to boil.

One officer bears the burden of responsibility for introducing me to WoW and for where I am today. Ross, my thanks for your tireless healing through Kara, for continuing to perform a role that was so badly needed and even once you'd stopped raiding for your RL support of the decisions that I made. I'd love to level up beside any one (or more) of your characters in WotLK, Shorty really needs your company otherwise he'll spend most of his time lost or heading in the wrong direction! I'm sorry for the times that raids have gotten me down and for when I've been stressed out about guild drama, but your unwavering support has been the thing that has kept me going.

And finally Toodles; your dedication to theorycraft and mage dps inspired me to better my tanking and ultimately led me to Tankspot and to the friends I have made there. Your continuing dedication to pulling agro and dieing continues to inspire me to further improve my tanking My thanks for seeing something in me that I did not see when you asked me to become warrior CL.

I had hoped my post and the discussion that followed would result in a joint announcement from the officers about where LotL's future stood - whether we would band together for another bash at 25mans; become casual or disband, but one officer jumping ship (to another raid guild) effectively prevented that and due to the intense number of whispers that greeted me when I logged on I've just gone public on our forums.

I have no idea what the future holds, except that I know that tonight will be full of tears.