Captain of the Phailboat

Last night was, by far, the worst experience I’ve encountered in Karazhan since the dungeon’s inception.

It’s a 100% guild run, and I was running about an hour late. I had some personal business to attend to IRL, so the group knew I would be behind. By the time I arrived, the raid was already assembled and they were just waiting for my arrival to start pulling.

It felt so great to know that, for once, I wouldn’t be spending an hour and a half hunting down people to come. Finally, someone else had done the work. It meant seeing a lot of new faces and being largely unfamiliar with their raiding capacity, but I trusted the more experienced of those among them to know who they were recruiting.

Here’s the group:

1 Prot Warrior (me)
1 Prot Paly (OT)
1 Holy Priest
1 Resto Druid (new)
1 Retadin (new)
1 Holy Paladin (new)
2 Warlocks (1 new)
1 Hunter (new)
1 Fury Warrior

So, 5 brand new guys – freshly attuned – and the rest were my regulars. Wasn’t sure how this was going to turn out, but as I always say:

“Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and always expect the unexpected.”

So, we begin. The first single pull went fine, and I quickly assessed the DPS. It was adequate for the moment, so we pulled the next group (the two phantom steeds beside the first). Well, I take one, the other is shackled, and everything’s going fine until the shackle breaks randomly and the steed immediately charges into the crowd, fearing everyone. Unfortunately, the Paladin OT didn’t resist the fear and ran screaming into the hallway, which aggro’d the pats walking around, drawing them into the fight and indiscriminately killing the healers and DPS.

It’s times like this that make me want to spec Imp. Taunt… but then again, each death is a lesson for them. Why not let them savor the flavor?

“Okay, we’re gonna chalk that one up to bad luck, regroup, and get this underway.”

People were actually waiting on rez’s. Many new people fail to realize that respawns are a part of the challenge of Karazhan, and that you’re always on a clock. You can’t just stop in the middle of raiding and not expect some sort of consequence!

We make another two pulls which, sadly, go very similar to the first two. Fears are causing all kinds of problems and SOMEONE keeps breaking the shackles. Also, the hunter apparently has no idea what “Square = Ice Trap” means. Then the resto druid imforms everyone that he “has to leave after Attumen”.

Fan-bloody-tastic.

About this time, drama bursts out in guild chat and everyone begins to get involved. Apparently, Someone had made an off-color comment while I was away about my respec’ing MS over the weekend, and it started a huge debate which had carried over for 2 days and resulted in demotions, hurt feelings, and an overall headache that just totally obliterated my raid-mood.

15 minutes go by before I’m able to calm everyone down and make them realize that we’re still on a timer and we’ll have to reclear.

Then the resto Druid went offline without a word, followed by the hunter.

So, we just walk back to the entrance and I try to retain my cool. I have a healer on standby, but it just so happens to be the guy that was slamming me about respec’ing. I didn’t care. He was one of my regular healers, and I was calling him in to perform his function. This is a raid, guys – leave your feelings at the door.

-1 Resto Druid
-1 Hunter
+1 Holy Paladin
+1 Mage

So, he joins, and everyone in vent goes silent. (I told him to stay off vent since we knew each other’s tactics well enough to survive without communication, and to stave off the drama what would invariably ensue should he open his yapper in vent.) I start getting whispers like mad, but I don’t care. My mind if focused on getting this KZ run started. I wasn’t planning on going too deep into it anyway, but wiping THREE TIMES on ATTUMEN TRASH is absurd and, honestly, laffable.

So, we summon and get back inside. Everyone’s acting professional and gets their game face back on. The respawns appear, and we start clearing.

…and it was just horrible. We had the exact same problems as the first pulls, but we DID make it to Attumen with 3 minutes to spare for the fight.

About this time I start lagging a bit. Others must have too cause about 20 people in the guild all went offline simultaneously. People on vent start mentioning how the world server had been unstable all say and people in random zones were getting kicked for a few minutes on occasion.

Quick explanation about stacking on Attumen’s butt and we make the pull, with the Paly OT on Midnight, and I’m ready to pick up Attumen.

Attumen spawns, and the lag just destroys the fight for everyone. I can see Attumen’s health bar appear, and after 2 seconds I see him appear, but I’m unable to move, turn, or attack. He swings at the OT first, and with Midnight and Attumen’s combined damage, the healers can’t keep up, and the OT drops. Next thing I know, I see Attumen by the caster group, and 2 are down (1 healer, 1 dps). I try to move, but I’m stuck fast between Midnight and the group. I felt so helpless, and watch as Attumen glitchily (is that a word?) one-shotted everyone in the room, and THEN come after me.

It was a sad state of affairs, and we all just decided to call it a night. None of us felt like re-reclearing thru the trash just to make another half-ass lag’d-out attempt on the easiest boss in KZ.

Lesson Learned: Don’t try to raid on patch day, and never carry more than 2 or 3 freshly-attuned guildies with you unless you have the Tanking, Heals, and DPS to accommodate for the slack. As the paladin put it:

“25-mans are easy. There’s enough people to compensate if someone is slacking. 10-mans aren’t as forgiving.”

Maybe I’ll try to take a raid to Gruul’s Lair soon.

/dielaughing