One Last Challenge..

As I posted in my previous blog post, I retired my tank and picked up on my shaman. I've been struggling to learn and to get the feel for healing and trying to take my mindset out of the tank mode. I still have problems finding myself worrying less about where mobs are going, what they are doing, and cannot seem to focus half the time on my healing. It's just turned second nature to me to keep a large awareness about while in a raid. It is going to take some getting used to. I have been working on my healing, slowly progressing and climbing the meters in the past few days to put myself where I should be on them. (Yes, I know meters mean nothing in healing, but there are things that can be learned from them and each class has their place on them... I am still trying to secure my spot in them). I've raided with the guild three or four times now on my shaman, but never on my warrior. He is there as a backup incase one of their others cannot make it. The night before last, they had brought a paladin tank from one of the former guilds on my server who had been their MT to the raid. Hes been a member for a while but has been a little inactive. We had already cleared everything up to mother shaz the night before, so two nights ago was the night we pushed to Illidan. He, much like me, had never seen the fight before and did not expect to be main tanking it that night.

I want to state this first, as I dont want this to seem like I am trashing on the paladin tank, because I do not intend anything like that. He kept getting sheared that night, even with doing everything properly. At first, the raid leader and the other members were just getting mad and talking down upon his tanking like many people would. It wasnt until after the night was over that I started doing research on the fight itself that I realized what the issue had been. The paladin was not "unshearable" with holy shield up due to the fact that sheer cannot miss. Thus he had a 10-12% chance each time to be sheared even with his shield up. It was a failed part on both the raid leaders and the tank himself for not doing the research, but that happens. No blame needs to be placed. It was at this point, the guild main tank sent me a whisper asking me why i wasnt there because they needed a tank on illidan. After telling him i'd never seen the fight, he told me if they did not down him that night I would be main tanking it the next night.

You really dont know how much stress it causes until you are in that same very position. The main reason they inducting me on my shaman with his lacking gear was because so many people int he guild had spoken so highly of my tanking abilities and how I play the game. Like I stated previously, the guild itself had never seen me in a raid scenario. Now, I am getting tossed into the flames and being asked to main tank the one fight in BT that I had never seen WITH all of this reputation to live up to on top of it not to mention the events from the day before making most people in the raid weary of bringing in new tanks to do the fight. I spent most of the afternoon gathering tons of mats to make sure I was ready for it. I dont like to fail. If its anything about me that stands out the most, its that I REFUSE to not step into something fully prepared when it matters most. I dont like walking blindly into something. I dont think my heart had raced that fast since the day my guild first downed Kael'thas. That last 10% of that fight... Everything resting on you staying alive...one messup and you wipe and you have to start all over...with no way to hide that you basically fucked up...

Yes...its quite the adrenaline rush... its what I enjoy about tanking the most... the pure adrenaline that pumps into your body... (Sad to say something like this about a video game? Probably...but I put effort into it...)

I ate 2 shears the entire night. Neither one caused a wipe, as I was able to ride my cooldowns quickly enough to keep myself alive and the healers were amazing. Was it luck? Probably, but I did not wipe the raid. I tanked Illidan sucessfully on my first night of seeing the fight. Heck, our first attempt we ended up wiping at 50% due to the warlock dying. Our next attempt was a 9% wipe because Illidan's enrage ate me from the trap being stuck in a terrible place... It took us about 3 or 4 more attempts after that with various small things wiping us...but we finally got him... It was quite the initiation process let me tell you...
I got to fulfill that goal I thought was lost for good the day Good Guild died.
I sucessfully tanked Illidan on my warrior and cleared Black Temple...something I had been told over a year ago that I would never see... something I was told I was not even close to being good enough to do..

And now, I can place my warrior on the shelf with a settled and content feeling...knowing that I made the goal I had set for myself. I'll never tank in Sunwell. My gear doesnt merit it and there is no place for my warrior on my server. I was thankful to tank this fight for this one last time. Now, my new challenge awaits...as I try to gain the same reputation on my shaman that I did on my warrior... and gain the same respect for an entirely new mindset of the game. It is going to be a slow, grueling process breaking myself of one play style and switching to the new, but its a challenge I can now welcome with open arms...

Though, I doubt the dust will ever settle on my warrior.... that urge to get back out infront of the raid doing what I do best will always be there... who knows, maybe they will need me to step in for Illidan again...if not, I can guarentee I'll be back to tanking when WotLK arrives... Once a tank always a tank