Some Things are More Important
Posted 06-11-2009 at 08:18 AM by Horacio
I've had quite a bit on my mind lately and anyone who reads my blog would know that. Lately, I've been starting to get the creeping burnout over Wow and have, this week, at least, have been cutting back.
I'm 34 years old, married with a lovely wife and two beautiful children. I have a nice home, a career and have secured myself financially. But I spend too much of my free time locked down in front of the computer and its starting to really get to me.
I feel like I've passed up too many important things in my life over the past 4 years. Its been like an extended vacation of sorts because prior to that, life was particularly difficult and while I wouldn't presume to commiserate with people who truly have a hard life, working one's self into the hospital probably qualifies on one level or another.
Specifically, I think I am a good parent but I could be better. We've gotten sloppy and lazy with our finances. My physical fitness is awful. I avoid working in the yard like the plague.
On the other hand, I've found myself more and more staring at my monitor wondering what the hell I'm doing. Why am I fetching crap for this guy every day in exchange for imaginary money? I'm not talking about totally trashing the game or gaming in general but I have a bad habit of obsessing over things and for 4 years its been Wow. I think about it all the time. I always have a project or scheme to finish up or begin, always something I'm working toward. But more and more, I'm bored and don't feel like it. The carrots hanging in front of me just aren't as appetizing.
The difficulty is that I am in a rut. That carrot might not be so appealing but hell, its there and its something I can do with minimal exertion and I'm just so tired.....
Recently, some major changes have occured within my family and with my career. I've started looking more toward the future and paying attention to the 'important' things. Like I said, I'm 34 and have made some money in my life. I'm starting to think about a new home, a dream house. My kid's education is critically important and putting money aside for their college is vital.
So...I'm cutting back. I'm not going to play Wow as much, I'm going to get outside more and manage my health better. Sad thing is, I used to be a hunter and fisherman. I used to live to ride out to the ranch but now that I live only 8 miles away from the front gate, I hardly ever go out there. I need to farm gold for a new mount or a friend is running a raid to a zone I need the achievement for or I'd just plain rather play Wow and be bored....but its a comfortable boredom.
That's got to end. I want to live a life of purpose and not for a fucking video game.
I'm 34 years old, married with a lovely wife and two beautiful children. I have a nice home, a career and have secured myself financially. But I spend too much of my free time locked down in front of the computer and its starting to really get to me.
I feel like I've passed up too many important things in my life over the past 4 years. Its been like an extended vacation of sorts because prior to that, life was particularly difficult and while I wouldn't presume to commiserate with people who truly have a hard life, working one's self into the hospital probably qualifies on one level or another.
Specifically, I think I am a good parent but I could be better. We've gotten sloppy and lazy with our finances. My physical fitness is awful. I avoid working in the yard like the plague.
On the other hand, I've found myself more and more staring at my monitor wondering what the hell I'm doing. Why am I fetching crap for this guy every day in exchange for imaginary money? I'm not talking about totally trashing the game or gaming in general but I have a bad habit of obsessing over things and for 4 years its been Wow. I think about it all the time. I always have a project or scheme to finish up or begin, always something I'm working toward. But more and more, I'm bored and don't feel like it. The carrots hanging in front of me just aren't as appetizing.
The difficulty is that I am in a rut. That carrot might not be so appealing but hell, its there and its something I can do with minimal exertion and I'm just so tired.....
Recently, some major changes have occured within my family and with my career. I've started looking more toward the future and paying attention to the 'important' things. Like I said, I'm 34 and have made some money in my life. I'm starting to think about a new home, a dream house. My kid's education is critically important and putting money aside for their college is vital.
So...I'm cutting back. I'm not going to play Wow as much, I'm going to get outside more and manage my health better. Sad thing is, I used to be a hunter and fisherman. I used to live to ride out to the ranch but now that I live only 8 miles away from the front gate, I hardly ever go out there. I need to farm gold for a new mount or a friend is running a raid to a zone I need the achievement for or I'd just plain rather play Wow and be bored....but its a comfortable boredom.
That's got to end. I want to live a life of purpose and not for a fucking video game.
Total Comments 14
Comments
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Sound philosophy. I'm glad you've decided to make some positive changes and I really hope you manage to find the balance you're after.Posted 06-11-2009 at 08:51 AM by Jalousie 
- *nods*
I see. It's tougher than anyone could imagine to figure stuff like this out and actually get to doing it. I wish you the best of luck with it!Posted 06-11-2009 at 09:16 AM by Aethelas - I hear what you are saying. About 2 years ago I completely quit playing wow for about 10 months. Rededicated myself to physical fitness, did some travelling and have never regretted a moment away from the game. I came back a year ago and am having fun again. Ulduar progression, new guild all that stuff.
The secret was knowing my limit. Sounds like you just reached yours. Good luck man... though I will miss your posts and blogs.Posted 06-11-2009 at 09:26 AM by Meythos -
Good on you for recognising the signs. There always comes a point when it is just the right time to scale back or even quit outright. I remember when I quit playing EverQuest years ago. I just came to the realisation one day that I was done, and I had said goodbye to the guild and had it uninstalled the next day. I did not look back, and the only real regret I have is that I didn't stay connected with friends from the monk community over time. Life will always fill up that time with other things to do.
I never actually intended to play WoW. Some friends deviously arranged to get me an invite to the vanilla beta and that was that - bastards! It's been a good ride since 2004. I am not quite at that end point yet for WoW, but I can see it on the horizon. When the time does come, I'll walk away again and see what life brings next.
Good luck to you guys!Posted 06-11-2009 at 11:45 AM by Satrina - I'm feeling the same way right now. I'm telling my guild leader that he needs to find another tank, as I just cannot continue to devote this much time to a video game. I'm not quitting outright, but cutting down to about an hour a day.
If you're stopping blogging, that sucks, I always enjoy reading your blogs. Take care with whatever you do.Posted 06-11-2009 at 12:55 PM by Ferag -
I think I need to cut down on raiding. Currently, I hit 25 man 2 nights a week and 10 man another 2 nights a week. I'm having trouble deciding which to drop and how to go about it. I suppose if I cut back to just that with a little bit of farming to keep up with consumables, I'd be ok.
I guess the first step is to cut out the mindless hours PvPing and grinding out achievements.Posted 06-11-2009 at 01:24 PM by Horacio - It seems like alot of us are reaching our limits on WoW. Myself included I'm in a great guild we raid 4 nights a week for four hours and I somehow managed to land a beautiful wife who allows me to do that, but more often than not I find myself simply staring at my monitor, while my 2-year old son is in the back wondering what I'm doing. I feel myself throwing in the towel fairly soon, maybe not quit outright but certainly tone it down just a bit to prioritize.
A little about myself. I'm an active duty Marine, been doing it for almost 6 years now. I've got a PREGNANT wife and a 2 year old. I raid 16 hours a week with 25-mans and usually about 6-7 saturdays with our 10-man ulduar team. I honestly do not know how my wife can take this, but I am so thankful she has. But WoW is certainly losing its priority for me. Good luck horatio in finding your balance!Posted 06-11-2009 at 02:08 PM by Ferim - You know, one of the big things is that I never feel like I have enough time. I always have something to do and I end up arriving at Monday morning with nothing to show for my weekend. Wow just sucks time away......and its not so much a raiding schedule that has a definite beginning and end, its all the extracurricular crap.
And to be perfectly honest, I'm not going to stoop down and take shots at the game or the people who make it and play it. These are personal choices I need to make and personal choices that have left me unfulfilled.
All too often, people project their frustration on anyone and anything besides themselves and shirk responsibility for their own lives. I turn on the computer and play. No one holds a gun to my head. Blizzard provides enough content to keep me reasonably entertained no matter how much I decide to play.
I do it to myselfPosted 06-11-2009 at 03:30 PM by Horacio - I've pretty much stopped playing wow entirely. Been about a month now, but I still read a few wow blogs including yours because I often identify with what you have to say. Certainly this one is no exception.
For mostly the same reasons as you, I've decided to quit. I can't cut back - I've tried that - the only thing left for me is to go cold turkey. It's how I quit smoking and it's always been the best way to end a relationship. Just stop doing it completely. Now I just need to figure out how to tell my guild... of course they might have figured it out by now.
Edit: wanted to clarify that I wasn't telling you to quit cold turkey. Just relaying the only way that has worked for me.Posted 06-11-2009 at 04:28 PM by tobarstep - Very positive of you to share this. I find myself in a similar position, although there are a couple of differences. My life had some gaps that I deliberately filled with WoW, and I've always needed some kind of escape activity, being other games, fiction, or whatever.
For me the question is whether WoW is a satisfying and safe way to fill these gaps. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. When things are kind of relaxed, I can log in, find a group to somewhere, and it gets rid of stress or boredom. When we get progression disease, it creates more stress than it relieves and I feel that my life is being sucked into what was previously boring or depressing time, filled with WoW too well.
Right now is one we have progression disease and it's one of these unhealthy times.Posted 06-11-2009 at 06:28 PM by Machus - Great blog Horacio, as always. I was in similar situation month or two back, feeling burnout and how the game is pointless waste of time. I cut myself from raiding 4x4 a week, dusted my warrior for 1-2 evenings a week to chat with old buddies. Nowaday, I am back in the raid group that allowed me to raid in TBC, raiding 3x3 and spending the odd evening heroicing or farming.
Yes, my life differs from yours. I am have good money, run my own business, though I lost my loved ones and well, there is big hole I need to fill, mostly not to be alone. Yes, WoW might be lousy decoy for real life relationships and friends, but it is escape.
Anyways, back to topic - I must say I enjoy WoW a lot more after this cut down of the time - I do not feel staying online is mandatory, as it felt before. I found few other hobbies outside the game so I just log in, see what is happening, and log off if nothing. That is first step for me, and till Fall the only one I will take.Posted 06-12-2009 at 12:57 AM by TiptoesDMF - Just do what you want to do. Doesn't matter what it is as long as you enjoy it.
Because ultimately, what else matters? Take care of the family, socialise with friends, have fun. Whatever you do in your free time is your business.Posted 06-12-2009 at 03:23 AM by Durandro - Great Blog H-man, as always.
I have seen that light at the end of the tunnel myself. I did cut back (a lot), and it did worked out great.
Wife, Kid, Home, Work. Got all that and it keeps a guy pretty busy. One of the good idea I had was to restrict my computer time to the hours my son is asleep. Very simple rule and very effective.
With work taking over 2-3 of my nights shift anyways, I don't have much time to invest in Wow. Hardest part for me was to drop my raiding guild knowing I had the skill to help out with the progression. The addictive factor was that I really wanted to tackle bigger challenge but I knew I had not the time to do it.
Here's a thought I had that can help too: Playing Wow is no worse than any other hobby. I have neighbors that will sleep in their garage to fix their tuned-up cars, completely ignoring their family in the process.
I heard about other people that would not even spend time with their kids on vacation to be able to climb this or that mountain.
Wow is a very convenient hobby and does hurts on the physical shape but it's not any worse than other passions when they are extreme.Posted 06-12-2009 at 08:04 AM by Mayoche -
This blog really hit home for me. I am cutting back too. I have been at it for less time than you (about 1.5 yrs), but I am right there with you. I need more balance and more quality time with family. Less Wow, more Real Life ...at least for now
Good luck Horacio! I hope all goes well for you.Posted 06-17-2009 at 02:55 PM by Whozit
