TankSpot - Blogs - Bullwrinkle

Misery loves company

Bullwrinkle — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 10:18:13 GMT

Frustrated, incorporated.

I can't say why I have felt the urge to put these posts to music in my mind, but it helps.

An amazing night of peaks and valleys, we managed to drop both Sapph and KT(10) tonight only to be disturbed by the drama-beast.

The story goes something like this...

I left my previous guild (Sin) to start a new guild (Placebo) with a few of my super old friends, who had a similar mindset, approach and preparation for raiding. The only bad news was, our roster was 6 players deep, so after we all dinged 80 about 5-6 days in, I started fishing thru the quality players who were up to 80 on my friends list. Alot of them were still from Sin, that I really enjoyed playing with. We threw together a run, and manage to squeak our way up to get blocked by Sapphiron last week. Everyone is excited, having a blast.

So then this week, we have 12-13 people ready to get in on our raid (Once again only including people in my guild and friends list) only to find out that two of my friends have been raising an unholy storm of feces in Sin's guild chat, acting all elitist towards people they are still guilded with. This does NOT fly with me, I don't care if I left because I was tired of the same idiots - be a grown up about it, you don't need to rub someone's face in your good fortune. So I may be cutting loose a few of the people I really enjoyed having along, because they don't know how to act.

If that wasn't enough, now I am getting tells from the people I had to sit to maintain balance / function about starting a SECOND run. Are you kidding me? Our guild roster includes two tanks, two healers, and two dps, how in the blue blazes are we supposed to spread 6 people who guilded together so we could run things TOGETHER into two runs. So the doors might be closing, tighening up into a smaller crew - which annoys me since there are tons of people I love who just can't play as much.

I highly doubt I am alone in this sort of situation, it still just frustrates me to be in the same boat I was in for BC, when I did everything in my power to get away from the situation before it imploded. /sigh

WTB an instance without a cap that scales rewards and difficulty to the number of players.

Game On!

Bullwrinkle — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:40:19 GMT

Progress, my spice of life. Whether it be new boss progress, new gear, getting over that roadblock boss in a heroic - I love it all.

I left my old guild to start tanking again, and founded the guild with a dozen people I have known going on 2-3 years in WoW. I love these people, we have so much fun, and for the first time in forever, to steal from the carebears "Sharing is caring". We're passing around tradeskill mats to get each other thru rough spots, farming mats to get everyone going, grouping up for anything and everything we can, and it is awesome.

On the part of improvement that involves wrapping yourself in new gear, I am making some decent progress. Last night I broke 23k unbuffed hp @ 523 def, and I can almost taste the cap. We're going to attempt to run Naxx this weekend with a few of the people we've met leveling and/or are old friends with no access to it, we'll see how it goes, but I think I can hit 25k unbuffed and defense cap by them - wish me luck /grin.

Its the end of the world as we know it.

Bullwrinkle — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:52:59 GMT

And I feel fine.

For the last 4 months, I have been healing - and I am finally done. I took a backseat to help progression, behind tanks who do half the research, play half as hard, and care half as much as I do. And I am done with it.

Coming into Wrath, I am taking matters back into my own hands, I will be tanking in a smaller setting, with the people I enjoy again. There will be no more excuses, no more pigeonholing due to seniority. If we find a tank better then me, he main tanks - I don't care who it is, as long as they care.

The guild I am leaving, is trying to "tighten" up ship, when half the officers are the worst players of the respective classes we have. I see no way to fix things without disrupting the fragile balance they have, and I wish them no ill will - I just want to have fun again, and play with people who aren't just running the motions. We managed to get "Lolidan" after the 3.0 patch, and it was even more of a joke that some people in my guild felt that we earned something.

I understand enjoying our hobbies in various ways, but is it really fun to be so bad at one? If I made macaroni art that always looked like a buffalo, I wouldn't make macaroni art anymore. Hence the problem with a semi-serious "raiding" guild, you have 10 people trying to carry the other 15, and my back is tired.

For a while, I had a glimmer of hope - my current GL approached me after my post stating what I would be doing, offering me a tanking spot again. But 3.0 has shattered even that, Blizzard went and made tanking easy enough, its not glaringly apparently how terrible our other warriors are. Such is life, at least I know I will be prepared for the future.

�Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.�

Long time no speak

Bullwrinkle — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 18:01:01 GMT

Its been a while, TS'ers.

With WOTLK fast approaching, as I watch my guild blindly marching towards the same end as my pre-bc guild, it makes me get a little sentimental with a touch of mania. Its only a matter of time before history repeats itself, and this casual gearing machine of a guild I am in folds upon itself, and it just sickens me to hear yet another raider is leaving. Another gap in the roster to fill with someone, who may be an eager beaver, is grossly unprepared for what we're doing.

The last few months for us has been a violent dance with every issue a guild can have, in hyper speed. About 6 weeks ago, we lost 6 of our core raiders in one weekend, which left us handicapped enough we werent able to even make a full balanced raid for nearly two weeks. We've staggered back on the horse and managed to drop Archi, and Gurtogg, but we've wasted the last two weeks doing Kael/Vashj for our replacements. (Wasting may or may not be the right word, but 3.5 hours of wipes on Kael pretty much shot any time we'd have to attempt RoS)

I am starting to resent all the undergeared people in our guild, with how our loot council is, they will get enough gear to be adequate, but they always want more, everything. They think because they show up, they deserve to get every piece of gear they dream about, while we put any thought of progress on the backburner. The clock is ticking, our time is almost up. Every week we dont attempt progression is another week closer to WOTLK, and the demise of our raiding, and possibly guild.

I guess what really got me thinking about it, is our main prot pally has apped to the top guild on the server. (They had a prot pally spot, and he may or may not get in) I've been guilded with the guy for going on 3 years now, and I know that we both regretted never seeing all of Naxx at 60. I can't resent the guy for trying to see the content when it is still applicable, it just makes me rethink why I am even bothering grinding away week after week to help gear up people who arent worth the 2 void crystals we lost out on.

I'm tired of being in a guild where we need filler spots.

I'm tired of the filler spots thinking they matter.

I'm tired of not wanting to log in, because it will just be more T5 wasted time.

More or less, I am just tired. I want things to change, and I think I am burning myself out trying so hard to make this guild into something it isn't. I used to love my guild, I used to love everyone in it. Now? I rarely log on outside raid nights, I log on other vents because I dont want to talk to our new people that I resent so much. I'm slowly detaching myself, and I dont know if I should take a break now, or just stop pretending and leave. Such is life.

The company and secrets we keep.

Bullwrinkle — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:51:12 GMT

My thoughts are a dissarayed jumble, there is so many things I want to get off my chest, most of which do not involve WoW.

I guess I start at the begining.

I've been an online gamer for nearly 15 years now, starting my hobby in various MUD's, Diablo, the general slew of terrible games that each taught me more about how I wanted to conduct myself and be portrayed then actual gameplay.

The first game I lived/died for was Everquest, it was impossibly hard, and I vastly overestimated my ability to play the game, as a 16-17 year old who knew just enough to get into trouble, but too little to actually succeed. I took various stints thru many other titles, picking up better aptitude, deeper theorycrafting skills, and overall developed into a "good" gamer. I went back and took EQ by storm, got into the raiding scene just barely in time for WoW to pull the wool over my eyes.

I've been playing WoW almost exclusively since release, with a few distractions I elected to throw up during a few short breaks, working at temporary jobs just to get by, living without many frills. More or less content with my station in life, happy enough to just keep skating by.

Last May everything changed. My mother and stepfather both died in a car accident 1 year and 3 days ago. I was crushed, destroyed, I cancelled my accounts, packed up some clothes and ran home to be with my brother and sisters, of which I am the oldest. I didnt play anything outside of old console games for the better part of 6 months. I made some amazing friends, met the girl of my dreams, and more or less drank myself into a stupor. I had a wake up call that my drinking was spiraling out of control when I came to from a blackout asleep behind the wheel 200 miles from home.

So I pulled back, I got in touch with some old WoW friends, turned out the guild they were in had a casual tank spot and I had some desire to play my warrior. I registered back and played hard getting back up to speed. After a month I was tanking in T5 content, I never looked back.

I've been with my current guild for just around 4 months now, I am one of our 4 tanks and as far as I know, a valued asset. As the anniversary of my mother's death approached, I was anxious, despite an entire year having passed, it is something I don't think I will ever truly get over. On Friday, I got a phone call from one of my aunts telling me that my grandfather had been in intensive care for several weeks, and they planned to pull the plug on Saturday.

They pulled the plug on Saturday at about lunchtime, contrary to what the doctors had said, he managed to hang on for a while, and he passed away early Sunday morning, the same day as my mom passed away last year. It has been a week of extreme highs and lows - thinking he was going to pull through, then the crushing pain of losing yet another of the few people I care about.

It has always been so easy to run away into drinking, gaming, drugs, anything to distract me from reality, and as I have always lived with depression, each blow rattles me to the core. As I mourn the loss of everyone around me, I also mourn the loss of my attachment to the world around me.

I drove home yesterday, feeling burnt out and tired. I got home and logged on to raid, got several friendly comforting tells and messages and felt a little better. I still learn to deal with things as they come, and while everyone tells me it will make me stronger, I just get more bitter.

I don't normally talk about anything this near and dear to me, as pretending to ignore it is far easier, but I figure I might as well try something different, something has to change.

Take this for what it is worth, it is simply the truth as I feel.

(Adult Language) Save the drama for yo momma.

Bullwrinkle — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:52:11 GMT

So recently, we had our only good hunter and a decent healing priest gquit (The priest had low attendance, but the hunter was a kick in the groin)

Some drama started in my guild forums and escalated to the point of ridiculous. Heres the abridged version (For laughs)

Edit: I didnt really clarify, but this priest is one of the worst players I have ever seen, she has died IN the raid with constructs both times she got the debuff. She's died as many as 5 times in one Supremus kill. (Waste of Brez's) She gets excited to be in the top 15 dps, but rarely beats the tanks by more then 5-10%. During Kael she stood in flamestrikes, and kited Thaladred into the caster NPC (Who killed her). During Vash she got aggro on a strider, and kited it THRU the middle, any time she is given an assignment that involves anything more then stand still and mind flay, she fails.

From Lichi (Hunter that left)
I'm out
We're gonna keep this short and sweet. We're done. This is not a game for us anymore and it's not fun for us to do this. We're not sure if it's the current atmosphere, the guildies, the content or a combination of all the above but We're not looking forward to raiding every night, We're dreading it. Good luck in the content. Peace.

Seraphin and Lichi

/start gay jokes

-Skip past 4-5 posts from people saying good raiding with you guys, take care etc-

From our spriest (lol begins):
They didn't stop playing. They immediately joined some dumpy guild called six sigma.... Hahaha good luck on their "fun" while they are wiping to Gruul. God bless.

Also, shouldn't their access be removed likw all the other traitors?

My reply (Unrelated Content cut out, was mainly comments about how I would miss them)
Once again, all I have to say is the truth of how I feel.

Who cares how dumpy the guild they joined is? It shouldnt concern you, as you appear to feel victorious that two of the people that called you out all the time are gone. You've won, or something, let it rest.

This whole attitude of turning around and insulting people that leave because they left is stupid, maybe if you didnt harbor all these unspoken complaints they wouldnt want to leave?

We're not a hardcore guild, so stop acting like it, especially if you dont have an A game to bring.

-Skip past 4 posts agreeing with me, and another 5 that are saying the same thing-

Warr CL locks it with:
Okie i get last word (unless that busybody Xalgor overrides the lock LOL)

They are gone their access is removed (which is standard procedure nothing against them)and we are recruiting to replace them...

As you all know i never had a real problem with either of them except their attitudes at times...but hey we all have them as witnessed by this thread!

As i said i wish them luck and hope they can help 6sigma out though I BET they are officers soon whether they like it or not heh (I know Sheesh he was in my guild for like 18 months pre-bc)

REMEMBER guys: they still have friends here who are valued (as they were) and temperment really needs to be had cause I dont like some of the elitest views im seeing either

LOCKED!!!

-In a different thread, which was people making fun of each other (Jokingly) this is where it got interesting-

From Spriest:
This is continuation since the other thread (lichi quits) was locked. Nordor, I don't really like this thread. Guild tension is high right now and this thread is just stirring up BS. (Sorry apparently my buzz wore off)

You know something? I'm not really having fun either, but I still show up and I do try. Its pretty fucking LATE for me when I raid with this guild. Its 12am my time when we finish, sometimes later. I'm very tired towards the end since I get up at 6am. I admit that sometimes I fuck up. I think most people fuck up, except for maybe Xal and scrounge,so meh, whatever.

If lichi or seraphin (The whole 5 times he actually showed up) talked shit I about me, I really don't care. All assholes are muted in vent anyway so I likely never heard them and therefore didn't have any hostility toward them for that. I was only pissed at the way the exit post was worded because it appeared deceptive. Lichi explanation made sense after he reposted. But why not just be like Lime and come out and say it "Im joining another guild because .

Anyway please don't generalize about what I do or don't do when people leave because you're fucking wrong, I have said almost exclusively nice things about everyone else who left. I was just pissed that Lichi's good bye was worded in a way that sounded like they were quitting wow and not just sin. Now that it was "explained", I understand. Case over.

And BW, you've had some less than ideal "non-A game moments" dousies yourself if I recall, so really go fish when saying someone else isn't bringing their "A game".

Lastly, I want to point out that I am actually NOT happy Lichi left. I had mixed feelings about him personally, but I appreciated what he brought to the raids. Now maybe if I didn't have him muted on vent, I'd feel differently. Honeslty I think anyone who is NOT an officer needs to STFU during raids. Noone that has ever fucked up themselves really has any right to bitch at someone else -if they are not a raid leader or an officer. I would guess that would be most of us. Anyway whatever.

My reply: (On a personal note, I have sustained over 1k TPS on every WWS I have looked at for the last 3months, on top of having slightly faster reflexes then our other tanks at grabbing my targets, they've made me the first kill target every night since my 2nd week raiding)

The fact that you got offended speaks worlds more then any comment I could have made, Orr. And I would be pleased as punch if you could tell me the last time my screwup has wiped a raid. I've learned how to tank in this guild, and have improved to a point where I feel the number of mistakes I make is very small, if any. If you can think of any one time in particular, I would be surprised, but this wasnt about me, I was just disgusted by the haughty insulting of attitude, with an incredible amount of attitude.

Her reply:
BW, whatever. I was talking about when you were in your learning stage and you have messed up after that. No biggie, everyone messes up sometimes. Did you realize that not being about to hold aggro or picking up targets very slowly may not direcly wipe the raid but can lead to a wipe just as easily? Also amazed you accuse me of havin an attude because you seem to have a haughty attiude as well. Why don't you guys that bashed me buy a set of balls, and read back the lichi post... cause I never bashed them personally at all. (But someone else did. Funny how no ones had the rocks to say a peep about that. Nothing against that person on my part. She spoke her mind. I'm more amazed that the same ppl that jump up my ass for a perceived "attack" on lichi and seraphin said not a peep about other people with much harsher words than mine).

The only thing I was angry about was that he left and insulted that it seemed like he was saying he was tired of Wow, not of Sin and when I saw where he went, it was like an extra slap in the face. I can always accept when people want to go to a better guild especially if they are good cause that makes sense. Going that far back in progression is... I dunno.. painful. And I do know the guild. Love the MT to death, but the fact is I ran with him enough to know he sucks as a tank. Not saying he sucks. It's just he isn't a good tank. That's all. He's a good player when he's DPS.

Also you don't know me at all so please do not ASSume that you know my intentions or motivations. You were dead wrong on a number of points, but I won't hold my breath waiting for an apology there since you're not the type to admit when you're wrong. Anyway out of respect for Scrounge, I suggest we drop it. If you have further drama, you can discuss with me personally. I really don't have anything more to say to you though and I really don't care what you have to say so let's just drop it please.

My reply:
What points was I wrong on? I stated my opinion, I didnt say the world was square, and covered with chocolate marshmallows. If you think my opinion is wrong, thats fine too, people are allowed to believe whatever they want.

If your not having fun, then stop raiding.

As for an apology, please let me know what I was vastly wrong on, or where I painted a picture of skewed motives, or whatever it is you seemed to see.

Please stop with the passive aggresive stuff, it gets old, either stick it thru or dont post, this isnt you trying to get out of trouble for another wipe, you dont need to point in every direction but towards yourself.

If Scrounge or Xal wants this to stop, then just say so, drama or not its the invisible elephant in the room, you have to bump into it eventually.

-And now, ladies and gentlemen, the amazing PM that really brought things to a head, from her to me-

From Spriest:
Whateva
Scrounge DID ask everyone to stop a few posts before you posted to stir shit up again. L2Read. and you are an ASShole. YOU were talking to me since you QUOTED something I said in my post and then repeated used "YOU" (Directed at me) before flinging some harsh insults at me. You're not perfect, so honestly STFU. You are the douchebag elitist, not me. Take a look in the mirror.

You are also a complete hypocrit. I've heard you talk total shit about pugs you've been in and the people in them. You know, unless you are delusional, you know that Sheesh sucks as a tank. Si that is my opinion, yes, but trust me, anyone that has the musfortune to group with him, since he started attempting to tank has that opinion as well. So why is osih allowed to have a nasty opinion about lichi and you say nothing directly to or about her, yet you jump down my throat. All I have tp say to that is fuck you. Grow a set, then maybe I'll give half a shit of what you have to say.

Seriously.Stop being an asshole and calling some people out and letting your pals slide for doing the same shit or worse. You know you did that and you're a retard if you aren't smart enough to realize it. I don't expect an apology as you have a very warped perspective and you twist shit around. I never ever once claimed I never made a mistake or wiped the raid... but you have done it by your inability to hold aggro or pick up shit fast. You can deny THAT all you want but it doesn't make it any less true.

Personally, I think you need to go get laid or something. You're as cranky as shit all the time lately. But meh.

_________________
Orrianna - 70 Shadowpriest
Aggroing Xal so you don't have to - Since 2007

My reply to her
Sure, lets get personal.

I can personally recall no less then 7 raids where you have been the contributing factor towards wiping the raid, none of the officers like you because of your inability to function at an average level. I had 3 of the officers tell me "Good post" referring to both of my replies to you. Personally, the way you refuse to improve is offensive, I still have no idea why Xal continues to invite you, even when you continue to have the situational awareness of a rock. I'm not sure why you think I am cranky lately, I just dont appreciate someone who is barely a warm body in a raid commenting about one of our stars. Hes gone, it sucks, I know for a fact that part of the reason he left is because you wiped us on constructs and Xal said almost nothing to you. Please, get better and then come back to me, I may be an asshole, but I dont waste 24 other people's times every night. We're not hardcore, but you belong in a "Mario Teaches Typing" level of raiding, its not funny anymore, you have cost the guild countless hours thru your wipes, that you wont even claim. Instead you use crappy played out excuses "Oh im tired", guess what I saw the combat log during Teron where you fucking killed YOURSELF with shadow word death, maybe if the officers knew they will finally understand that you simply dont give a shit about anyone else in the raid. I'm sick of your shit attitude to match your shit play.

Osih isnt my friend either, but I saw her back in SoP when she sucked, she has improved her game immensely, where you continue to stagnate to a point thats laughable.

You have no interpersonal skills, you aren't very good dps, your mana return is poor, and you run towards fire like a crow towards a piece of foil. You complain about people to lazy to buff, and I have seen you ask for priest buffs from the other priests.

You are wasting everyone else's time, and if you arent having fun dragging us all down, please stop raiding.

Her reply to me, sent while the other priests were buffing (lol)
I've never asked for a priest but from other priest. If they are buffing my GROUP and I'm trying to buffs the entire raid every 20 mins with shadow, yes ill ask them to do their assigned buff. Don't give me the bullshit that you've never wiped the raid. You just do it indirectly. I was not the only one that had issues with teron. If you had pulled your head out of your ass, maybe you're realize i was said i FUCKUING lagged out. I was spamming buttons but
nothinf was happening on my screen. PErsonally to think you head is too far up your ass to notice or you're too busy licking your own asshole. As far as my dps, take a look and the WWW being having youyr verbal dirarhea. I was ALWAYS top until i got very outgeared. So fuck you. I don't see the word officer next to your name so maybe trying STFU? Oh yeah? You suck at tanking. You are slower than shit picking up your adds, you have wiped raids and the other tanks can tank well and still do double your DPS. GEt back to my when you understand reality. You're the fucking elisti. I never claimed to be better than anyone else, but you walk around with your nose in the air like you're awesome, when you can pull it out of your ass to take a breath.

Anyway so harrassing me. I dont give a shit about you or your obnoxious opinions. Serioisly. Go die in a car fire

-During the raid she made several laughable comments, and managed to stay alive while doing 600 whole dps (Up from the usually 400, so quite an improvement) and my final reply-

Cool. If all I have to do is point out your mistakes for you to perform like an average player, I will continue to keep it up.

I'm honestly impressed, last night was the first time in months you havent used your soulstone and still managed to die again. As for your dps being amazing, you were still 7 out of 13? I mean I guess thats pretty good for you, but go look at the Anetheron parse, where you did an amazing 435 dps for the fight where I did 382 tanking it. Your gear should easily be able to sustain 1k+. I understand you are very frustrated with my ability to observe, remember and point out your performance quirks, but it doesnt take an officer to see that you are usually a liability. I do have to thank you for the laughs, any time you try and prove a point, its like an episode of "Kids Say The Darndest Things". Nothing you say really makes any sense, but I guess thats in line with your ability to play the game. I wish I could just pat you on the head and tell you everything is okay, like some other people do, but I simply can't do that when I know that with only the slightest bit of effort you could perform at an average level - which was illustrated last night.

The bandwagon has been jumped upon.

Bullwrinkle — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:33:21 GMT

Reading thru all the love/hate blogs on raiding was kind of interesting, so I figured I would hop on the bandwagon.

To start off, let me describe my own personal progression, and how it changed me - for the better or worse as a gamer, a person, and as a raider.

I started the game a few days after retail, and since I was an old EQ junkee, quickly leveled up to 60 and "raided" scholo, stratholme, LBRS, UBRS as a pally offtank. My idea of offtanking was to grab a mob, run away and heal myself until it was time to kill it.

Fast forward thru 2 months of dead end play, and I rerolled horde with some old friends. Quickly got to 60 as a rogue, got in on the pvp scene to rank 8, and decided to make a mage twink. Level 49, 300+ fire damage, joined a prominent pvp guild, leveled to 60, rank 12 and we started to raid.. ZG at first, then joint runs thru MC, we got up thru Garr and then everyone blew up over loot. I left to join a real raiding guild. This is where my "real" raiding began, it was no longer something we picked up and ran on an offnight when we had people, it was scheduled, rigorous, you needed potions, strategy.

I still distinctly remember everything from my first night of raiding with this new group of people. The mages all greeted me with open arms, we joked, laughed and had a fantastic time. They told me to work on my damage - since I was raiding MC as a fire spec, not realizing how much I was gimping myself.

That first night I picked up my T2 leggings and I was hooked, thats the moment I sold my soul and the greater part of my free time for the next 18 months. That was my first raiding guild I loved every single one of the 39 wild, funny and crazy people I raided with. We won fights and had fun, we wiped and had fun, whatever we did was a pure and absolute thrill. Fast forward 6 months down the road, thru alot of frustration with performance quirks in AQ40, alot of loot drama and presto - Naxx. Once again raiding was FUN, less stupid frustrating mechanics, and I even get to be fire again! It had its ups and downs, but I still loved it again. I looked forward to our Naxx nights, and grew to resent the DKP bloating thru people showing up for BWL farm nights but cant be bothered to come to Naxx. More drama, lost a few key players to transfers, and we finally kill Maexna just before Christmas.

Burning Crusade comes out, we race for 70, we have a core of 10 players into Kara exactly 9 days into BC, where we get our server first, and guild first kill of attumen. (At about 2 in the morning since we had just finished our key runs earlier that night) I am PUMPED, we're back in the swing of things, I dont get to see 3/4 of the people I used to raid with, and our mage crew got destroyed via inactivity, quitting, dropping guild, but we're still progressing, learning, playing. Karazan basically destroyed my guild in trying to fit a group of 30 (Active) players into two 10 man instances that had the balance to function. We ended up losing I think it was 4 of our key officers/GL players during this process, so we retooled with very light handed leadership. It didnt work very well, but we still had a pretty solid crew.

During our Mag learning, I had a real life tragedy that made me reevaluate everything I had done, all the time I had spent on a "silly" game. The countless hours I could have been going to college, having a job I cared about, looking for someone I would like to spend the rest of my life with. I was out of game for nearly 7 whole months, pretending like I could lead a normal life and not miss it. But the fact of the matter is, I did miss it. I love people in general, but the people I was guilded with were kindred spirits, in one way or another. We laughed together, we swore during pvp together, we QQ'ed together. In more ways then they will ever know, they were my family, they were a group of people that made me feel at home, in a space that doesnt even exist.

If the people I have come to love decided they wanted to change games, I would go with them. If they decided they want to keep raiding, I am all for it. The main point beyond getting this all out there is as follows.

Some nights I love raiding, some nights I hate raiding, but no matter what its the people I know that keep me logging on and playing. Being good or bad is almost a non issue, the badges/upgrades/loot debate is a side thing in my mind, I still get excited to see an upgrade, but I show up for everything that I can, loot is just like a funny story I get while hanging out with my friends.

EDIT: Its like your grandmother that may have a commemorative plate from each place she has visited, that reminds her of the trip, for me, thats why I still have my 5 piece NW set banked, I still have the first epic I remember earning(Azuresong Mageblade). I have a bank full of junk, and a head full of memories. I wouldnt trade my experiences both good and bad for anything else, as they have helped me develop not only as a player improving his skills, but as a person, learning to be more tolerant and forgiving of others honest mistakes.