Interesting...

So as my few readers have realized, I haven't been posting much about tanking exploits. That's because, sadly, I don't tank much anymore. Work has consumed my schedule for the last couple of months (and the next few ahead as well). I work for TruGreen, the artists formerly known as TruGreen Chemlawn. Apparently, though we've changed very little about the chemicals we use, we've opted to drop the 'Chemlawn' part to at least make the appearance of being more eco-friendly. Whatever.

Most of our 31 techs are lawn guys. They come out, hose the yard in fertilizer and go on their merry way. I, however, am a Horticultural Tech. At its most simple, you can think of my job as being much like gynecology... I spend my days looking at troubled bushes and working with the owners to make them healthy again.

I knew it was going to be an odd day when I scanned over my list of scheduled stops and found a customer named (I'm serious) Win. A few stops later? Success. Wow. Just... wow... Also, there was a high-priced new customer in a ritzy neighborhood.

I always try to prioritize my newest customers, as their landscapes are generally the most troubled. Yet another way that I would assume my job is much like gynecology: it takes a lot of distress to get our clients to admit their bushes need help.

Anyway, it's a day much like any other except for the odd pair of names on my invoices today. That is, until I get to the new sale. I always make a point to meet my newest customers so I know what they expect from the program, and can give them true facts as opposed to what the salesman might have said. There's a reason they sell instead of doing what I do. At this stop, however, there's nobody home. Oh well, next time.

I set to work. Their landscape could be used to demonstrate just about every issue in the whole diagnostics manual. I mean, it's shot. As I'm trying to mentally compose a nice way to leave them a note saying "your trees and shrubs are gonners", a Lexus SUV pulls in the driveway. It's the wife. Nice. Now I can have my customary chat to find out what they expect from the service. She parks, gets out....

It's "Isabella", a bombshell ex that I dated for close to two years. We recognize each other immediately, though it's been about 5 years since I broke it off with her. At the time, she was a stripper with an infatuation for the powder and when I asked her to stop both, she looked at me incredulously and said something that amounted to "...you mean get a 'real' job...?" I wished her luck, we split amiably and went our separate ways.

Life's funny. When we split, I spent some time introspectively, wondering if I should have held on longer and maybe she'd come to her senses. As we're looking at each other and chatting, I wonder if I should be feeling regret, or envy or jealousy or something...

I'm feeling relieved. She's very very obviously a stay-at-home mom/trophy wife and still doesn't have a "real job". I can't help but think I dodged a bullet there. I value hard work. "Isabella" obviously never has. I always got that sense from her, but hoped she'd change with time. I guess some people never change...

The funniest part comes when she dials up her husband so I can talk to him about his program and what he expects. While we're talking, I'm finding it hard to resist asking "Hey, does she still do that thing where she..." Nah. No point. He probably deserves her. I guess I didn't. And for that I'm glad. Maybe Win and Success really were the harbingers of what was to come today. I certainly think they were.