View Full Version : Tanking Dating advice, in WoW Terms

02-17-2011, 02:18 PM
Just an article I wrote to help out my fellow WoW players... before you hate, at least take a read. Women, back me up here.

Bring on the trolls!

Pulled from NerdsPwn.com Please comment on the site/ this forum you like! Thanks.

First and foremost, letís talk add-ons. I would recommend using a wardrobe add-on, over the default, because staying in style is going to help make a good first impression. Check out GQ or askmen.com for some helpful tips on looking fly. Now, we need to make sure you know how to do this encounter, so instead of using the Elitist Jerk forums, read into the proper techniques online. There are actually a lot of resources, so choose the strat that best fits your class personality and traits.

Alright, so youíre all prepped up and ready to go. Assemble your raid and head on out! When you arrive, remember that it is not important to rush to this encounter. Get ready to make your way through a lot of trash mobs, as bars are usually filled with them. Remember to save bloodlust , as applying the proper DPS and having a back up to help you pick up healing is going to be quite useful. Confidence in the win is key here, but if yours is low, then a DBM mod would be perfect for a boost on what to do. No matter what, enjoy yourself. This boss is only aggroed by guys that are having a good time, smiling, and seem like fun to be around. This means you might have to /dance, utilize the chat functions with your friends, and look like you enjoy being out of your basement.

Phase 1: The Introduction

It happened! You finally pulled this mob. Here are some tips for phase one. Use a /focus macro, as keeping eye contact with this girl is going to be key. You donít want to /inspect her too much, as this can be seen as unattractive. DPS light at the start, you want to casually approach this mob and control your DPS. Talking too much may cause the mob to think you are too into yourself, and she will cast Vanish or even Divine Protection.

Phase 2: The Conversation

When engaged, remember that it is actually beneficial to not use abilities like kick or windshear, as interruption is not beneficial. Remember, donít talk about your earlier wipes with other bosses. This one will actually cast a defense barrier if the conversation is focused on someone else. Donít be too eager, as this is a sign of inexperience (possibly due to being a Wrath Baby). Being cheesy and using the typical pick up lines will not be effective, as her resistance to these abilities is very high.

Phase 3: The Closing

If your confidence is high, this might be the easiest partÖ but you took a lot of damage and you feel like someone is about to cast fear on you. Donít worry. Just go for it. However, remember that this boss is dynamic. There isnít a specific strat to use, so do what feels right. Invite her to your next raid or another fun event that is going on soon. You did well and didnít wipe, so get her NPC #. Again, donít be over eager and /whisper her too muchÖ you donít want to be seen as a Felstalker.

If this didnít work, then donít worry! Thereís plenty of encounters out there, youíll find yours eventually.

02-17-2011, 03:14 PM
1. Wrong forum. You aren't asking for help. This would be a better fit in Off-Topic Discussion or General Discussion forums.
2. DBM is a specific mod, not a type of mod. The type of mod would be a "boss" mod.

02-17-2011, 03:17 PM
This whole thing just made me want to groan.

02-17-2011, 03:17 PM
this is pretty hilarious

02-17-2011, 04:02 PM
This whole thing just made me want to groan.


02-17-2011, 04:42 PM
This whole thing just made me want to groan.

02-17-2011, 05:42 PM
Be aware - they are immune to most forms of CC, excluding " word of visa " and they cannot be silenced once they cast " perpetual nag "

02-17-2011, 06:19 PM
Well it's hard to imagine any matchig encounter for this strategy...

02-17-2011, 07:43 PM
This reminds me of all those "1000 signs you're addicted to wow!!" threads on every single site.

You know you're addicted to wow when your microwave dings and you say "Goddamn it's about time, I'm so hungry I could eat John Popper!"

I mean, grats. You say grats.