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Valandris
04-26-2010, 06:39 PM
I know this may be an odd ball post, and odd that I ask yall, but....my parents grew up in the days of elvis and I don't think they'd understand. Just to clarify I am 18 but I do go to my parents for advice still. Right now I'm in a stressful point in my life and I never had a gf back in high school and been shy towards females. And well I'm restless. I want something but I'm most likely related to practically everyone in my local area. And the car I was using broke so I can't drive nowhere:(

Any thoughts on sites like EHarmony? I see it a lot on tv while doing pushups or situps and I ask myself "does it rly work?"

Jalousie
04-26-2010, 06:49 PM
You're 18. You're going to be awkward. 18 year old girls will be no more experienced and confident than you, however they might seem it. If you're going to use something like eHarmony, eventually you're going to have to meet people, at which point the "being shy" thing will rear it's ugly head.

Literally the best thing you can do is pursue real life interests, widen your social circle and start thinking of girls as just other people, who are just as nervous and shy and new to the dating game as you. There is no big secret, and I deeply suspect that arranging dates with people you meet online will only make the whole enterprise more stressful for you.

(Spoken by a 23 year old woman who is still AWKWARD and NERDY and kind of has a lisp, and yet still is not a social pariah. True facts.)

Valandris
04-27-2010, 05:07 PM
well here's my thing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amory,_Mississippi
this is where I live. Wal-mart and church are the biggest social events on a regular basis. A small sub-community nearby renders dancing in public illegal (So no clubs).
And I pretty much hope for the car to be fixed by sometime next week. In such case I can go to a town 5x bigger than my own.
So these online matchmaking websites seem very appealing right now.

Ciderhelm
04-27-2010, 05:10 PM
Do you have a good income? If so, go for it.

Valandris
04-27-2010, 05:15 PM
Well I'm not looking to settle down or anything soon, I'm just 18. I just want a gf.

which is probably the wrong thing to lf on matching sites.

Valalvax
04-27-2010, 05:19 PM
Well, umm... it's kind of hard to have a girlfriend without a car.... don't worry about it too much, you could take the Ciderhelm method, he made a really cool website and the womenz were clawing at him


Bah, had one of those moments where the stream of thought ended, and then I was just like... "Umm.... Post I guess?" seriously though, focus right now on getting your car fixed, getting into college/job/college & part time job, not on getting a girlfriend, no girl will stay with you too long if you are a useless bum (not saying that you are, you didn't specify your working situation/schooling)


And another note: That bullshit you see on tv, is bullshit, or at the very least 1 in a million stuff, my friend did that crap for 4 years, he met some girls, got pretty serious, but most of the time they were psycho *women*, his wife I think was someone he just happened to meet, I'll ask him about that, I kinda forgot

He answered: Through work

Valandris
04-27-2010, 05:21 PM
website like a page on a matchmaking site?

Jalousie
04-27-2010, 05:23 PM
Well I'm not looking to settle down or anything soon, I'm just 18. I just want a gf.

which is probably the wrong thing to lf on matching sites.

Well, this is what I wonder. It's all good if you want to meet a wide range of women, date around and find someone, but if you're looking on a more casual basis I say wait for the car to get fixed and see what kind of events and clubs you can find further afield. What have you got in the way of a circle of friends where you are? Pretty much the best way of meeting people is through other people, and it's way less intensive than meeting someone off a dating site, for the specific purpose of dating.

Edit: Valavax, what on earth? Why is it hard to have a girlfriend without a car? Have I missed something?

Valandris
04-27-2010, 05:25 PM
Well since graduation most of the ppl I knew have moved on and I ain't heard from them since. I guess I probably should wait for the car.

Valalvax
04-27-2010, 05:27 PM
website like a page on a matchmaking site?


Ciderhelm runs Tankspot :P


Edit: Valavax, what on earth? Why is it hard to have a girlfriend without a car? Have a missed something?

I meant in like his or my situation, little town, nothing fun to do, granted a lot of girls out there wouldn't mind picking the guy up, I can understand that it'd get frustrating after a while, especially if it's a 20 or 30 minute drive, then 20 or 30 minute drive to fun place, then 20 or 30 minute drive to get him home, then 20 or 30 minute drive to go home yourself

Bluedot
04-27-2010, 05:35 PM
I know this may be an odd ball post, and odd that I ask yall, but....my parents grew up in the days of elvis and I don't think they'd understand. Just to clarify I am 18 but I do go to my parents for advice still. Right now I'm in a stressful point in my life and I never had a gf back in high school and been shy towards females. And well I'm restless. I want something but I'm most likely related to practically everyone in my local area. And the car I was using broke so I can't drive nowhere:(

Any thoughts on sites like EHarmony? I see it a lot on tv while doing pushups or situps and I ask myself "does it rly work?"

I signed up for eHarmony a few years ago when they were having a free trial. Most women that are your age on eHarmony (and there are not very many) are single moms who want a man to take care of them and their baby cause their baby-baddy was like "Oh your'e preggo? Peace out, yo".
In my 14 day trial I did not get a single date from eHarmony... could be entirely my own fault tho.. I didn't put much work into it.

Work at a restaurant as a server... everybody gets laid in the restaurant business.

Destruyen
04-27-2010, 05:42 PM
i can relate to the dismal (yes dismal) dating scene in ms. i grew up just south of meridian in the small town of waynesboro where church is attended regularly and kids drive "the loop" on friday nights and hangout in the walmart parking lot. when i was growing up back then, i would usually go to hattiesburg or down to gulfport since they were bigger towns with some of the only real clubs in the state outside of jackson and whatnot. also, most people are set in the old ways and internet dating is still pretty taboo there.

you're still young, i wouldn't jump into internet dating just yet. go outside your usual area, meet chicks (yes i used to be pretty shy too), and just have fun. you don't "need" a grilfriend and you shouldn't feel pressured to find one right out of the gate.

just my 2 cents, but i'm not the relationship type.


Most women that are your age on eHarmony (and there are not very many) are single moms who want a man to take care of them and their baby cause their baby-baddy was like "Oh your'e preggo? Peace out, yo".
you just explained over 50% of the chicks his age in mississippi....

Valalvax
04-27-2010, 05:43 PM
*grumble grumble* meridian has terrible 3G....

Destruyen
04-27-2010, 05:44 PM
most of that state has terrible cell coverage period, let alone 3g

Valandris
04-27-2010, 05:47 PM
well I'm just wanting something with a female besides "just friends" and you know that small town feeling so I'd hope you know what I'm feeling lol.

Speaking of cell phone coverage, my bro walks into his apartment and loses signal.

Valalvax
04-27-2010, 05:47 PM
most of that state has terrible cell coverage period, let alone 3g


Well yea, but Meridian had 3G, and I got excited, and it was bad...

Jalousie
04-27-2010, 05:49 PM
I meant in like his or my situation, little town, nothing fun to do, granted a lot of girls out there wouldn't mind picking the guy up, I can understand that it'd get frustrating after a while, especially if it's a 20 or 30 minute drive, then 20 or 30 minute drive to fun place, then 20 or 30 minute drive to get him home, then 20 or 30 minute drive to go home yourself

I've never dated anyone with a car until very recently. I've also known several couples in which the woman can drive but the man can't. I think that's probably the least of your worries, ever.

Destruyen
04-27-2010, 05:50 PM
i haven't been there in years and try to avoid going back so 3g in meridian is news to me...

Xepri
04-28-2010, 04:57 PM
I like OKCupid. There are a lot of interesting people there. I'm on as mheart.

Hammerfists
04-28-2010, 07:06 PM
Most people on dating sites are looking at your "gear score". No car, no job, and if you dont live alone equals fail. There's a reason why people in their late teens and 20's are on dating sites and its not because they are shy. You will have to meet them eventually and court them, theres no way around this. You will strike out thats just a fact. You're 18 you're too young to have a GF anyway. Fix the car and go out there and have fun.

Aliena
04-28-2010, 07:21 PM
I used to translate okcupid. Good site, beats eharmony by far and is free.

Cartz
04-29-2010, 08:49 AM
My advice?

Forget wasting your time on eHarmony or any other site.

Study like mad, get into an out of state college, live on campus and win, epicly (and frequently).

Theotherone
04-29-2010, 12:36 PM
well here's my thing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amory,_Mississippi
this is where I live. Wal-mart and church are the biggest social events on a regular basis. A small sub-community nearby renders dancing in public illegal (So no clubs).
And I pretty much hope for the car to be fixed by sometime next week. In such case I can go to a town 5x bigger than my own.
So these online matchmaking websites seem very appealing right now.

Sounds like the movie "Footloose". I can't believe there are still places that try to make dancing in public illegal; boy is that a huge 1st Amendment violation.

Anyway, from the perspective of many years beyond 18; you'll run into somebody, life's funny that way. Given time it will just happen, whether it be at work, school, in a local park etc. You can try to force the issue, but the Fates will intervene.

Mńcintosh
04-29-2010, 02:41 PM
My recommendation would be to stay away from eHarmony.

It's a lot of money. The sign up takes a looping time because of the 7 page questionnaire you have to answer. eHarmony is not a hook up site. It's a site for serious people looking for a serious long term commitment or marriage.

Like other posters said, you're young. Don't worry about it too much. If it's desolate around your area though and you would like to just meet women and date and just have a good time, the dating sites aren't that bad. Zoosk on facebook. Friendfinder, match.com might be up your alley. Still have to pay for most, but they are a little more geared towards meeting people and dating. (aka hook up sites) Those would be the sites I'd recommend due to the fact you don't want to settle down and you are way to young to do that anyway. They are great for meeting people.

Good luck in your search.

Zanaji
05-07-2010, 04:59 AM
+1 for OKcupid, lots of fun and free.

Kryptic
05-07-2010, 08:58 AM
aww dating sites...

heres the run down, speaking from a person who has almost exclusively dated from them.

High school - No ladies, I am a shy person with low self esteem.

After highschool - Met a few ladies through work, one I dated for over a year, but that wouldnt of happened without the online thing. Dating a whole ton of random's from the internet does 2 things, it's like a rockstar lifestyle on a mcdonalds budget. There has been social networking sites for along time, you learn to talk to girl's and your confidence sky rocket's. The free sites like POF are good for this, but in time you will realize 80 percent of those crazy ladies are knocked up, and its very stressful and im very lucky i never ended up a daddy or with any diseases. TREAD LIGHTLY! I still have one stalker....

Now once you got your life together, making decent pay etc... Start to pay when you are looking for something serious. The women on the pay site's are usually looking for long term and tend be more quality. I found it to be worth the money, but you will soon realize the fee is very cheap once you meet your wifey.

The final score

Free sites - go have some fun- they are all crazy
Pay site's - 4 out of 5 i met were potiential life partner's, 1 I ended up marrying.

Trogdorrior
05-07-2010, 11:15 AM
I met my wife on myspace. Nuff said.

Gehn
05-07-2010, 12:55 PM
my advice?

Forget wasting your time on eharmony or any other site.

Study like mad, get into an out of state college, live on campus and win, epicly (and frequently).

qft.

Ceravantes
05-10-2010, 04:45 AM
I think your too wrapped up in wanting a "girlfriend," although its not an unusual thing at 18. In my experience the girl you find while searching isn't the right one. Put your effort into other worldly pursuits, and just meet new people. Eventually you will find what you wanted without even looking, and it will probably end up a more fulfilling relationship because of it.

As fas as dating websites, your a bit young for them. As was said above, people on them your age will more than likely have baggage that will be tough to handle. Dating sites like that were designed for people a bit older, who have kind of.....outgrown...the bar/club scene. However, there is http://www.gk2gk.com/ (http://geek 2 geek.com/). Haven't been there myself, but the way I understand it is that its a social networking/dating site catering to, for lack of a better word, "geeks." I would think this site would have a much larger population of people your age, and with interests similar to many of ours here.

Mert
05-25-2010, 07:46 AM
The funny thing about dating that you really only realise later on once you've done it a few times is that, by far, the easiest time you'll have finding someone is when you're not looking. I don't mean don't use Okcupid or any of the other advice given in this thread but I mean that the more you try to find love, the harder it seems to be to find it. It was said earlier in the thread that a good thing to do is to just get used to speaking to women as normal people and nothing more and, honestly, that's fantastic advice in my opinion, whether it's on a dating site, Facebook, in a bar, out in the park, on Tankspot or wherever. There's no magic secret, these things almost always just kind of happen - you'll be fine and I'd concur that you needn't spend too much money to try and force the issue at this point - just agree to go out or do a few things you'd not ordinarily do and you'll have a great time I'm sure :D